SEX! Arrgh! Thinking about it can be scary and it can be exciting. Should I be having it? Do I want it? What will my friends think? What will my family think? Will I get pregnant? What else might happen to me?

The important thing is that if you are thinking about having sex, then there are some other things you should be thinking about as well, contraception, pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STI's).

Whether you are in a full on relationship, or keeping it casual you need to keep yourself and your partner safe. There are many different kinds of contraception that will prevent pregnancy, but only somethat will protect you against sexually transmitted infections, condoms and femidoms!

If you have had sex and have not used contraception, or your condom broke, then emergency contraception is available to prevent pregnancy.You need to take it within 72 hours of having sex. Emergency contraception is available free from GP's, Contraceptive and Sexual Health Services and many pharmacies (there will be a £6.10 charge at the pharmacy if you are not exempt from prescription fees). Remember though that it is better to protect yourself before having sex by using contraception.

Sexually transmitted infections are on the up, especially amongst young people. You may not know when you've got one, and if left untreated some can lead to infertility or other health problems. Most STI's are easy to treat. Don't feel embarrassed about getting help, lots of people have to and the staff who can sort you out are well used to it! You can get a check up and treatment at your local genito-urinary medicine clinic (GUM clinic),it's completely confidential and you don't even have to give your name if you don't want to. Or you can go and see a GP if you are unsure. For more information about the different STI's check out the websites below.

Sexuality

As if being a teenager isn't confusing enough, some of you may be wondering whether you may be gay (fancying people of your own sex) orbisexual (fancying people of either sex) or just not sure. Don't worry, lots of young people get confused about their sexuality, and it may take time to work out whether you are gay, straight or bisexual. The important thing is that you are comfortable with who you are. There are people you can talk to in confidence who will not make judgements about you. Staff in the services listed in the Sex Directory link below will point you in the right direction.

Services

There are services that can give you free confidential advice even if you are under 16. Many of these services run sessions especially for young people. Some of these can provide you with contraception, emergency contraception, pregnancy testing and even free condoms. Check out the Sex Directory for more details on these and other services that can give adviceon sex, sexuality, contraception, pregnancy and sexually transmittedinfections.

Losing your virginity
Having sex for the first time is a once-in-a-life-time experience.

It is special and not something you should rush into. It is not something you should do; unless you are 100% sure you are ready for it.

Having sex is not just a physical thing; it is also a highly emotional experience.

If you share this first sexual experience with someone you know really well, love, fancy, trust and who feels the same way about you too, it is much more likely to be a happy and fulfilling experience, even if things do not go quite to plan.
Many people regret their first time (especially if it was with someone much older, who was really just after them for a quick shag or conquest) and wished they'd waited for that someone special to come along. But only you can tell who that is.

Being used or pressured into sex
If you are worried that you are being used for sex maybe you need to think about avoiding situations where this might happen. Having lots of conquests or one-night stands might seem attractive, but it is not a guaranteed way to meet that someone special. You could end up with a bad reputation and many people may not want to go out with you. Just because you have lost your virginity, it doesn't mean that you are an easy lay. Take control over your body, you always have a choice about whether to have sex or not.

Using people for sex
Sex is more than notching up conquests.
Putting pressure on someone to have sex is disrespectful andhurtful.
If you are looking for a relationship, people may not take you seriously because you may have a bad reputation

Flirting

People flirt in may different ways, by their actions, something they say, how they walk, look at you or behave in the company of the person or group they are flirting with.

Flirting can be fun and harmless, if you flirt with people who know and understand that you are flirting and what you mean by it.
Just because you have flirted with someone doesn't mean that you want to have sex with him or her.
If you and your partner decide to have a sexual relationship, you need to think about how you can make sex safer.

Safe Sex
There are many different types of sexual activity.
· You can enjoy a sexual relationship with your partner without going all the way.
· Take time to kiss, stroke and explore each other's bodies.
· Be inventive and have fun, talk to each other and see how much you can turn each other on.
· Only go as far as you are comfortable to go.
· If one of you is uncomfortable say so.
· Oral sex involves kissing, sucking or licking your partner's genitals.
· On a man it is sometimes called a 'blow job'or a 'BJ',on a women it is sometimes called 'going down'.
· For oral sex to be pleasurable and safe ensure your genitals are clean, otherwise it can smell and taste unpleasant for your partner.
· Be gentle, don't yank or pull genitals and be careful not to bite your partner!

Some Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI's) can be passed on during oral sex, including gonorrhoea, syphilis, hepatitis and herpes. Avoid having oral sex if either of you has cold sores on you lips, or sores on the genitals or an unusual discharge. Remember you can't always see if someone has an STI. If it doesn't look right, don't go there.

Going all the way or having penetrative sex, involves vaginal or anal intercourse.
If you are having penetrative sex you need to think about protecting yourself against STIs and heterosexual couples need to think about protecting themselves against unwanted pregnancy.
Using a condom for sex provides an all-in-one protection against, pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections (STI's) including HIV. It can also help to improve communication between couples. Condoms need a little practice to learn how to use, so it's best to practise putting a condom on before having sex.
Remember think carefully about having sex as no contraception is 100% safe.

How to use a condom
It is best to discuss using a condom with your partner before you have sex. Have it in a handy place so it is easy to find. Check your condoms are in date and they have the British Kite mark or CE mark on them.

When the penis is erect and you are ready for penetrative sex:
· Open the packet carefully at one end
· Squeeze the condom out of the packet
· Check that the condom is round the correct way
· Place it over the head of the erect penis
· Pinch the teat of the condom to get rid of any air
· Roll the condom down the penis to the base of the shaft
· Put a little water-based lubrication over the condom to make sex easier and less painful
· Now you are ready for penetration
· Whilst you are having sex, every now and then check that the condom is in place
· After the man ejaculates (cums) Carefully remove the penis, holding the condom tight (so as not to spill any sperm)
· Tie a knot in the used condom, wrap it up in a tissue and through it away in the bin
· Use a new condom each time you have sex.
· Remember it is possible to get condoms for women.

Conception (Getting Pregnant)
In order for conception to happen a man and woman have to have sexual intercourse. The sperm meets a woman's egg; they join together and attach themselves to the woman's womb. The sperm and egg divide into cells and develop into a foetus. A foetus takes nine months to develop into a baby.
If you don't want to conceive (get pregnant) every time you have sex, you should think about using contraception.
Signs of being pregnant are missed periods, tender breasts and feeling or being sick.
If you have had sex and your period is late you should get advice and a pregnancy test as soon as possible.
You can get this done free at:

· Young persons clinic
· Brook advisory clinic
· Family planning clinic
· Some doctors
· Some GUM clinics at your local hospital.

Pharmacists also offer pregnancy-testing kits although you do have to pay for these and you still need to see a doctor to be sure.

A girl can get emergency contraception, (sometimes called the morning after pill) up to 72 hours after sex.

If you are pregnant you may be worried about how people will react.

They may be angry and upset at first but they also may be able to help.

You are not the only one. It may help to join a local group, where you can talk to people who will understand how you feel.

When something is worrying or upsetting you tell someone about it.

Ask for help, it's not always easy to ask for help. Everyone needs help from time to time. If you find it easier call a help line.

Age of Consent
It can be hard to decide if you should have sex or not. At the end of the day it's what is right for you, and only you can decide. However, there are laws for when you can legally consent to having sex.
· The legal age of consent for sex between a man and woman is 16 years old. This means that you shouldn't have sex under 16 years old
· The age of consent for sex between gay men or lesbians is 16.
· It is an offence if more than two men take part in a homosexual act, or are present.
· It is an offence if the homosexual act takes place in public.
· A doctor who prescribes contraception to a person under the age of 16 is not legally bound to tell anyone.
· A doctor who agrees to an abortion to a person under the age of 16 is not legally bound to tell anyone.

Sexual transmitted infections (STI's)
Sexually Transmitted Infections or STI's, are infections passed from one person to another during sex. STI'S are common. If they are found early enough they can be completely treated. If left untreated some can cause serious damage to your health.
Anyone who has sex without using a condom can get a sexually transmitted infection.

The most common symptoms of STI's include
· Pain or burning when you urinate (pee)
· The need to pee very often
· Blood in your urine
· A discharge from your vagina, penis or anus, which looks or smells unpleasant.
· Swollen genitals
· Redness or itching genitals
· Sores, warts or blisters on or near your genitals or anus
· Pain low down in your tummy
· No symptoms at all

If you have unprotected sex get tested, as it can happen to you.

Getting help
If you think you have an STI . . .
Go to your local GUM clinic, Special Clinic, Sexual Health Clinic or Brook
The clinics are free and confidential, don't put off going to a clinic for treatment, you don't have to give your name if you don't want to.

You can visit these clinics for advice or to talk about relationships, sexuality or sexual problems.

Most local hospitals have a clinic, refer to the Sex Directory for a useful list of numbers of clinics.

Tests and Treatment
The clinic doctor will give you a sexual health check.
Some STI'S can be diagnosed by sight, others require samples/swabs of your discharge or blood tests are done to diagnose some STI'S, results can take up to 7 days.
Most STI'S can be completely cured if treated early.
You may be prescribed antibiotics for infections like Chlamydia or lotions for the treatment of pubic lice.
Viruses such as HIV, hepatitis and herpes cannot be cured but treatment can begiven to relieve the symptoms.
Using a condom for sex can provide a protection against, pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections(STI's) including HIV.

Masturbation
Many people like to explore their sexual fantasies by masturbating. Masturbating involves fondling, stroking or rubbing your own private parts for your own pleasure. Masturbation is a safe way for a person to explore their own bodies and find out what turns them on.
· Masturbation is best done in private, somewhere where you feel relaxed and are unlikely to be disturbed.
· Masturbation is sometimes called wanking or tossing off
· There are no hard and fast rules about masturbation.
· However, men often hold their erect penis firmly inside their clenched fist, and move their hand up and down until they ejaculate(cum).
· Women, often masturbate by stroking their fingers around or over their clitoris, building pressure and speed of strokes as they get more turned on.
· Masturbation is harmless.
· You may hear a lot of myths about masturbation - all of them are untrue.
· There are no rules about how or how often you should masturbate.
· If you do not want to try it or you don't enjoy it you don't have to do it. Masturbation is up to you, its your body, your choice.

For further information visit Somerset's Sex Directory at: www.somerset.nhs.uk/news_info/publications/sex_directory
Other links:
www.likeitis.org.uk
www.brook.org.uk
www.ruthinking.co.uk
www.lovelife.com
www.cruch-onu.co.uk